Sunday, January 20, 2008

Ancestry

I was over my sisters house looking at pictures and then again with my girl and my daughter just the other day. Its amazing how much I haven't changed (in regards to hair) ever since I was born. I look at the thin side, the fine texture, the short length. I think my hair has been five or six inches at its most for my entire life.
(me in 2007 before locks - around May)








Examining this I think about my locks. I think some of them are about that size now (after 4 mos of growing) and I wonder how long they will be next
(me in 2007 to the left) week, month and year. I'm diligently reading everyones blogs to see where there hair started especially those that have very long locks after years.

(Me 2004)








I then think about my ancestors. I remember braiding my great grandma's hair and oiling her scalp. She would sit in her rocking chair - we would have coffee or tea with cookies in china and someone would be watching Lawrence Welk. There we would be and I would be the beautician of the group asking my grandma and great grandma and auntie if my hair would ever be like theirs so straight so pretty so carefree. They didn't need perms or anything to have this corn silk hair they just needed hot oil treatments with blessed olive oil and to roll their hair with pink foam rollers wrapped with newspaper. I begged for this hair, wanted to die for this hair. Why didn't mine do this? It just soaked up the oil and my sides never got thicker never grew never lengthened what was wrong with me? Then I looked at my mom. She had beautiful past her shoulders braids when she was a child that she cut off immediately after beginning junior high. Maybe it was because of this that mine was so short and unruly. Its so fine and thin and BAD! It coils and curls and isn't straight at all.

Now looking at these pictures I feel all of the pain. The teasing by children about my bad hair, the wishing for beautiful mixed hair or straight white hair or curly mexican hair anything but my hair. I felt this was such a punishment my hair of mine, and now I'm looking at these pictures of my locks and I see thickness I see fullness I see peas of hardness and new growth. I measure my locks with my fingers and think one day I'm going to wake up and its now going to grow past this length. I'm not going to have hair past my ears - but here they are. I won't have hair on my forehead but I see three inches and four inches of growth creeping its way down. I feel hair on my neck that is mine and wanting to go further. Without any encouragement other than being left alone. This is a miracle that I feel so unworthy of at times, I am frightenend with every retightened I see this change in me and feel my strength and feel the tears dropping down my cheeks. Tears of years of pain tears of ancestry.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Year new things

So I'm doing homework for school (I'm getting my Master's in about four more classes) :)

I look out into the sky and I think of what I did this morning to get ready for a party we have to go to in about 4 hours. To prepare my hair for this event - after all this is what the forum is for - I spritz'd my hair with water (no peppermint essential oil today) and rolled small sections with pipe cleaners (just the ends). It will take about 15 minutes for the curl to show and that it is voila I will be done.

I have my first official lock! Its in the back of my head the left hand side. I'm really enjoying playing with it. My loctician the wonderful Joyce showed me where it was and had to see the difference in the texture it is hard and steady. It doesn't have any curls or loops to it. You can definitely feel the "setting in" that people describe. To me I'm overjoyed because this is what four months of work was for. I'm finally seeing some type of change that's hopeful to me having a full head of locks.

My coworkers are now commenting on my hair and how great it looks one lady asked me "but where is your long hair" and I told her "its here just wait and see". I some of the time want to pull on it to have it grow and grow if I had a button to push I would but alas, I get to wait. I desperately want to go shopping for things to put in my hair -- beads, jewels. I really am loving this.