Saturday, May 30, 2009

Another loss Another gain

Here I am again. Wow I'm at 196. 196! I'm in a size 16 (I haven't been there since well I don't remember). I started going to counseling to see why I keep fighting this weight. I'm feeling so much healthier on this new life. I think I've turned a corner. I no longer want to go back. I feel challenged and happier and healthier yes - however I feel like I'm mourning the old me. I don't want to see her again. I'm breaking up with her and not returning.

I've been with her for so long, she's served me well. She's been my protection and now we're saying goodbye to each other. Now I'm seeing the new me. The new me is exciting. She likes to work out, she likes healthier snacks, she eats out now and then but chooses on the better side of the menu. She's learning to garden, she's learning to swim. She's enthusiastic, she likes long walks, she likes bringing her food with her and asking how meals are prepared. She's fun to be around, she's vulnerable, charming, attentive and a good friend. I'm glad I met my new friend. I hope we have a great long relationship! :)

Friday, May 1, 2009

Under 200

That's such a weird thing! Under 200 I haven't been here since maybe 5 years ago. Its wonderful, its weird, its lovely, its scary. Its a sign to keep going....