Saturday, December 26, 2009

In 365 days

I lost 34 lbs, I realized I can run, I allowed myself to cry, I was honest with myself, I told the truth even when it wasn't popular, I spoke out when I knew things were wrong, I shut up when I knew it was the best option.

I did Chalene Extreme without dying, I learned I love the series Snapped, I volunteered at a women's prison and learned more from them, I sang in the choir again, I let my heart open up and let others in, I learned that there are people out there with only their own interests at heart, I learned that taking time for myself is not selfish, I married the girl of my dreams, I watched my daughter graduate without her father around, I watched my daughter and her father get closer - without my help, I watched my daughter's stepmother disappear from her life without saying a word, I witnessed the miracle of old friends coming back into my life, I watched as my best friend and sister moved away.

I saw my hair grow 5 more inches, I saw myself decrease in dress size from a 20 to a 14/16, I decided to change careers, I learned that I do like myself at times, I learned that I like to read the Bible, I allowed myself to listen to the only CD I've sung on, I learned to kill moths and spiders all on my own, I let myself be weak enough to ask for help, I let myself be strong enough not to let others walk over me.

I learned I liked red kitchen walls, I watched my house decrease in value by $40,000, I watched as my income decreased by $3000 due to a budget shortfall, I learned that we would make it by being creative, I began crocheting again, I said goodbye to a doggie.

Here is to another 365 days

Friday, December 25, 2009

Recommitment to Weight Loss

I thought now, Christmas day, would be a great time to look at my progress and recommit. Last year on this day (well December 27) I weighed 217-219 today I weigh 183. After one year I've lost almost 35 pounds and I'm still going. I'm putting up these pictures to show where I came from. Everything that I've read says this is the best way to remind yourself whenever you want to overeat so here I was in March of 2008

And here is me on wedding day October 8, 2009.

Here I am on Christmas day one year later. I have more to go but I am taking this time to give myself a kudos I think its important to remind myself where I've come from and where I'm going. I hope next years pictures are just as good. I'll be able to look at this from wherever just to keep me on track.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Prison Visit

Why did I go to prison? I was curious of volunteering in a place where I could make a difference. Also, I was hoping to make some connection and to learn about others. Mostly I was scared and do not like being lead by fear. As we started service it was clear that many of these women knew more about life and even the bible than I ever would. We sang songs, shared stores and talked about God's love together. Our chaplain reminded us that all of us have some type of prison. The only difference is that their crimes have been judged and they are physically constrained. Many of us on the outside do not have this luxury and I mean luxury. They have to continue their lives in guilt, addiction and fear. Dealing with their imprisoned state with no walls. Prisoners have time to think and prepare and work and worship and repent. Many of us go about our lives and never try to do these things. We are too busy with our lives to even try. Too busy to think that are time is short and that we only have a brief moment to make a difference. To touch others, to pray and repent or even to make amends to those we've hurt. This prison outside is just as real. Visiting prison made me strangely aware of how imprisoned I am here on the outside.