tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65408094350355335372024-02-20T20:31:13.171-08:00Exploring Intuitive EatingI started this site to blog about hair, and before I knew it my hair had taken the background and my journey through battling with eating and body image began. I wish I could say I'm a crusader for some new cause but I'm not. I feel that females of all colors and ages have to recognize what we're doing to generations by our actions and reactions for food and body movement. After years of dieting I am now an Intuitive Eater and its saved my life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-76931004568228849672011-08-06T19:49:00.001-07:002011-08-06T19:49:20.735-07:00Today againI started ww again last week. After the first week of pouting like a child and having 50 points days I gained 2 lbs. <br />
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So today I have tried even harder to stay on track without making myself feel bad. I noticed that I am also wanting to overeat more and more like I haven't learned anything from my two years of hard work.<br />
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Hmmm I wonder what made last time so different and maybe easier. I think it is back to me being kind to myself and not allowing things I cannot control to dictate this disease and its effect on me. <br />
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tomorrow is an even better day but for now today is what i have.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-53846240721751478362011-05-09T17:13:00.000-07:002011-05-09T17:13:32.775-07:00Hmmmm split pea soupI'm getting ready to go to my nephews play but more than that I'm feeling that warm anxious scared feeling that comes when I don't have any substances (sugar or flour) in my body.<br />
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I've started going back to meetings and working on myself again. I'm also very excited to work on helping another starting Not for Profit get started and it may be my opportunity to get started too.<br />
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I helped a friend of mine with a terrible issue. He's being attacked at work by his team, his supervisor and even the supervisor above him - very ugly very nasty and will get very serious soon. I pray for his exoneration and strength. Its so hard when you feel exhiled. I remember it well. I lift him up to the universe to help protect him.<br />
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I write, I journal, I plan my food and I try not to weigh myself. Also I feel. It seems like I feel everything. When something is going well - I feel. When something is hurting - I feel even more. I dream about the job and my successes. I worry about my daughter going away to college. I worry that I am making the wrong decision at pretty much every step. But then other times I am confident, and happy and know that I am right on track for what God wants for me. Its soo odd<br />
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So the title? I don't know I feel like making split pea soup for dinner and then I started writing first.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-19306338807461144152010-07-28T23:47:00.000-07:002010-07-29T00:05:08.909-07:00Clouds<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwa-BFF97GR5ItaxUfSjk1EELpefbx2UIcJhzSMEvQTOrq-J5fCWYCYoOqafM3UYM1xGnNGdgTe8BJyUCnuCZ8-j2zdXvzarG078JTLTezlEV5Cz2X2tEglcEpIuXHrIC0v4bxjHevirv/s1600/LookoutRoad.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwa-BFF97GR5ItaxUfSjk1EELpefbx2UIcJhzSMEvQTOrq-J5fCWYCYoOqafM3UYM1xGnNGdgTe8BJyUCnuCZ8-j2zdXvzarG078JTLTezlEV5Cz2X2tEglcEpIuXHrIC0v4bxjHevirv/s200/LookoutRoad.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499216568805732658" /></a><br /><br />Another day of retrospect. Tonight as I fight insomnia I led to ask about the meaning of these feelings. Some of the times I feel so much pain and anxiety. I feel things are so unfair. Some people get everything and others get nothing. I remember the times when I was one of the favored ones getting everything. I remember how others would express to me how upsetting it was not to be a favored one and my saying "one day you're time will come". <br /><br />I like the feeling of being in the clouds. I like the warm floaty feeling I get. Flying above the world being able to see everything but not really being part of anything. The positive parts of being in pain is that it keeps you grounded and away for the clouds. You can't live in the clouds forever. That drifting floating feeling is meant to be enjoyed in doses.<br /><br />Pain also is in doses. This anxiety won't last forever. I will be more than my pain or the anxiety I feel. I try different things (like just writing). Some of the time I try doing something that will make me feel a different feeling (like watching a comedy). These things keep me in the world and allow me to enjoy the clouds more when I do escape to them. <br /><br />I remember this when it comes to eating. I have been dieting and restricting and fighting and wrestling with my own thoughts about eating since I was a teenager. Some of the time the fear of being hungry or being too full overwhelms but soothes me. Then I remember that this is false reality - like the clouds. They float over me (the thoughts and false promises). The "if's" are too great - what if I was a size smaller? What if I reached my goal weight. What if I had my ultimate career. All of these things intrigue and inspire me or used to. <br /><br />Now what inspires me is this need to grow to accept where I am and be willing to change. Enjoying this feeling that's happening now (like how I'm just now getting sleepy). Without fully being in the now I can't really be in tune with my own needs and the ability to help myself - which is what I need the mostUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-88703265804448135532010-07-27T20:23:00.001-07:002010-07-27T20:28:08.710-07:00What is it about foodI went to group tonight and without breaking confidentiality may I say what is it about food?<br />What is it that drives us crazy and makes us start arguments, wars, hatred, jealously and disease all for the love of food? What is it that gives it sooo much power over us? There's good food, bad food, healthy food, lack of food, food that shows you are wealthy, food that shows you are poor, food that gives you nutrients, food that causes disease, food that can be sold like gold, food that is thrown away that no one touches anymore because its touched a trash can but is a meal to someone who has none.<br />I haven't really thought of it much even though I think of its limiting powers immensley. Saying no to it used to give me so much power. Saying yes to it meant I was weak. Whether it was chocolate or nachos, it had control over my life, my waistline and some of the time my ability to function or get rest.<br />I hate food but need it to survive. I love food and can gorge for hours until my stomach hurts.<br />Food used to be my drug of choice. Fighting it has been a life long battle. I think I'm winningUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-9730949832141515692010-03-08T20:38:00.000-08:002010-03-08T20:47:24.867-08:00Another day another meeting another pictureSo ran a 5k yesterday I was so excited and happy and thrilled and Steph and I did such a great job. But then I got home and was tired and not hungry so I ate mindfully and we took a nap. Then I had a sensible bowl of cereal (non - gluten in case you want to know). That's when my binge started. Maria and I made mexican food the day before and I heart mexican food so much so there was left over green chili and pork and tortillas and white cheese so yummy. I started with nachos, that turned into green chili and chips that turned pizza and wings and on and on. Until my stomach was soooo full and hurtful and I just wondered what the hell am I doing?<br /><br />I've been very mindful about my eating. Allowing myself what I want and getting rid of the rest by throwing it away. What made me want to just gorge? I think its me. When I get tired I want to eat, when my body is in pain, I want to eat, if I fight with Shary about dishes, I want to eat.<br /><br />Then after OA meeting tonight I went online to see my pictures from the race. OMG ok I thought I doing so much better! I looked huge! My thighs, calves, everything it was such a let down. So add to my list of what makes me trigger to eat I now add pictures of myself. So far that leaves:<br />1) Restrictions<br />2) Sleepy<br />3) Eating in front of tv<br />4) Trying to hard to be perfect<br />5) Frustrations at work<br />6) Not journaling<br />7) Pictures of me <br />8) Weighing myself<br />9) After therapy<br /><br />So far that's about it right? My next step for OA is my inventory. This I think will be a little more difficult. Inventoring all of your flaws for all to see...hmmm but I live for my meetings I do twice a week and they are amazing (different locations but still the same soul and love). Without them and God helping me I know I would be a lot worst off. Write ya laterUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-66166472924446951962010-02-24T19:37:00.000-08:002010-02-24T19:43:35.741-08:00Don't have much to sayExcept I know that I am getting more and more sleepy the more mindful I am about eating. I also know that I can eat less and still be ok. Some of the time I'm cranky and even have a headache but other than that I survive. I know that I enjoy jogging and walking and that I'm getting faster and faster and I can now job for five minutes without feeling like I'm going to pass out. That's hilarious. Me on the treadmill and I'm not dying its incredible and wonderful and I love the feeling. <br /><br />I'm enjoying my classes at school and I'm enjoying meeting the new people its been a truly humbling experience. Learning more about myself is such a gift and can be heartbreaking. See you next blog.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-89110625741642499982010-02-15T20:32:00.000-08:002010-02-15T20:50:17.899-08:00The O, J Craig, and all the restI keep looking at different commercials and weight loss plans and shaking my head in agony. I was rereading journals from the year 2001 and even though it was around 40 lbs ago the hurt and pain is still there. I keep reading how people keeping thinking the latest diet will work and it hurts me to my soul. I have been struggling with weight and being overweight since I was 12 years old. During my parents divorce and even afterwards I used food to stuff down the feelings of abandonment and shame I felt - who wants to be left alone? Certainly not a 12 year old girl. My mom had to work hard to raise myself and my sister and brother.<br /><br />My best friend Cassandra introduced me to food. Her and I would hang out at her house (her mom was such a great cook) and we'd eat fried bologna and mashed potato sandwiches with Velveeta. We watched tv and hung out around the house. Her mom made us treats until dinner. I would have dinner with her family and then go home to my empty house. During this time I remember getting so large that my age and size of dress were the same. I had such anger at my mom for deserting me, my sister (I felt) deserted me too -- leaving to go live on her own. I was with my brother but he rarely was home and when he was, he would take his anger out on me. Not always in the nicest way - but he was hurting too.<br /><br />These memories have been hidden for a long time but now through hard work and facing my problems and not eating them out has allowed me to become to start healing. My answer to weight loss is this, some people can drink and never be drinkers, some people can smoke joints and never be addicted, others can eat food and not be addicts. I, however, have been blessed and cursed with food addiction. However, this addiction has made me face things, be honest, learn to believe that only God can help me and not a weight loss gimmick or plan. Its hard to eat only when you're hungry, its hard to pray and ask for strength instead of reach for a cookie, its hard its hard but it works every time. Not fast, but surely. Exercising sucks - yes it does but the results are beautiful. I am happier, calluses and all. Today I walked 3.75 miles. In May I'm going to do a 10k this is the reward, living longer is the reward but being honest with myself was the beginning - not believe in an actress or superstar but believing in me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-87161857956944077432010-01-02T13:30:00.000-08:002010-01-02T13:35:27.863-08:00Pretty good job so farI've been doing a great job doing my every damn day workout plan. I've been working out at least 30 minutes per day since December 29. Is it hard - yup! I'm also really focusing on my nutrition, keeping to my ww points I need for the day and starting a new supplement of chromium picolinate 200 1 per day and whey protein after I work out. I've also starting thinking about taking mx-ls7 from iSatori, but not sure right now. I'm only taking one a day because i have high blood pressure but I will see what happens and let you know.<br /><br />My biggest issue is that I'm trying to lose more than I did last year and get in better shape overall. (Hence the working out and strength training every day). I want more overall core strength better and trying to do more cardio to get my waist and hips smaller. We shall see :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-47824344826915286292009-12-26T15:15:00.000-08:002009-12-26T15:30:55.772-08:00In 365 daysI lost 34 lbs, I realized I can run, I allowed myself to cry, I was honest with myself, I told the truth even when it wasn't popular, I spoke out when I knew things were wrong, I shut up when I knew it was the best option.<br /><br />I did Chalene Extreme without dying, I learned I love the series Snapped, I volunteered at a women's prison and learned more from them, I sang in the choir again, I let my heart open up and let others in, I learned that there are people out there with only their own interests at heart, I learned that taking time for myself is not selfish, I married the girl of my dreams, I watched my daughter graduate without her father around, I watched my daughter and her father get closer - without my help, I watched my daughter's stepmother disappear from her life without saying a word, I witnessed the miracle of old friends coming back into my life, I watched as my best friend and sister moved away.<br /><br />I saw my hair grow 5 more inches, I saw myself decrease in dress size from a 20 to a 14/16, I decided to change careers, I learned that I do like myself at times, I learned that I like to read the Bible, I allowed myself to listen to the only CD I've sung on, I learned to kill moths and spiders all on my own, I let myself be weak enough to ask for help, I let myself be strong enough not to let others walk over me.<br /><br />I learned I liked red kitchen walls, I watched my house decrease in value by $40,000, I watched as my income decreased by $3000 due to a budget shortfall, I learned that we would make it by being creative, I began crocheting again, I said goodbye to a doggie.<br /><br />Here is to another 365 daysUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-27278883231880794112009-12-25T11:17:00.000-08:002009-12-25T22:04:27.349-08:00Recommitment to Weight Loss<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4cIg4mpc451z2lJWGFGW7EslicqCFMhOPBoClU0QVZ2Fci_BzkGVS8EKqwXECO8po5HXSkUe65KjBrecrKMhY66aa7IF5b5WTnREP8HW90OjYFnzXgRpI1TizaloDdEU08I0h9ZpbsZ0u/s1600-h/snowbunny+003.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419256190887849138" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4cIg4mpc451z2lJWGFGW7EslicqCFMhOPBoClU0QVZ2Fci_BzkGVS8EKqwXECO8po5HXSkUe65KjBrecrKMhY66aa7IF5b5WTnREP8HW90OjYFnzXgRpI1TizaloDdEU08I0h9ZpbsZ0u/s200/snowbunny+003.JPG" /></a><br />I thought now, Christmas day, would be a great time to look at my progress and recommit. Last year on this day (well December 27) I weighed 217-219 today I weigh 183. After one year I've lost almost 35 pounds and I'm still going. I'm putting up these pictures to show where I came from. Everything that I've read says this is the best way to remind yourself whenever you want to overeat so here I was in <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Kx3WsBUpUDSdyYsMxb5_Det5Wfdf1QlabqmuW5UJ42AxS1hmMku_h0kN586wCg18dm3Chk1bhf6XJ_EXF_0l1xOFcu76nW54kFdEsPCqIPQvp3zx2I1k2A8ysZfw-qdVKjs7Q6HwvG6z/s1600-h/snowbunny+021.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419258272995200706" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Kx3WsBUpUDSdyYsMxb5_Det5Wfdf1QlabqmuW5UJ42AxS1hmMku_h0kN586wCg18dm3Chk1bhf6XJ_EXF_0l1xOFcu76nW54kFdEsPCqIPQvp3zx2I1k2A8ysZfw-qdVKjs7Q6HwvG6z/s200/snowbunny+021.JPG" /></a>March of 2008<br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /> </div><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>And here is me <img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 134px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419256754352057954" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW2wSGDQse4niyNq-HhXohsJT5rhPNnIzPzSZjW0CGya5C1BGr9vX9Nxf7Is0DfF0s_vJYCoA-sg84FHdm4BVUgGmqIikp43nwy-aMosBsC-VEBNwr-Ap_rblHcrkZNJHXBxPgmKdp9KKV/s200/DSC09536_edited-1.JPG" />on wedding day October 8, 2009.</div><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419421223851702978" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivVIjmqQqOr6PIAYn9tlbhG_SmkKn-5uoqvtN2SoVkfi-RuJj2NxLA1vxfeZBc6S7BDexGHm9lbdpFv6xGbb7gFW6ljtqP5-WozeQVIck-8s3mtLuOHn6NdaHk2r7mnAFN2fJCXu4ibgDu/s200/120.JPG" />Here I am on Christmas day one year later. I have more to go but I am taking this time to give myself a kudos I think its important to remind myself where I've come from and where I'm going. I hope next years pictures are just as good. I'll be able to look at this from wherever just to keep me on track.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-53051439502893653172009-12-13T19:18:00.000-08:002009-12-13T19:27:48.671-08:00Prison Visit<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiuQez6cjkXOhmPjymnJqJWZAreWF5UIcYxSAPHGkrlvUdOeXRqVV-tjkHO4SkQeKoTkxuisSTuxShVeLmjW6exIpSOleK8tOFpoVhgnQCi110u9rxMESospgb4DeBXEaLoD9p6xBCWRzD/s1600-h/DSC09821_edited-1.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 152px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiuQez6cjkXOhmPjymnJqJWZAreWF5UIcYxSAPHGkrlvUdOeXRqVV-tjkHO4SkQeKoTkxuisSTuxShVeLmjW6exIpSOleK8tOFpoVhgnQCi110u9rxMESospgb4DeBXEaLoD9p6xBCWRzD/s200/DSC09821_edited-1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5414928356971189906" /></a><br />Why did I go to prison? I was curious of volunteering in a place where I could make a difference. Also, I was hoping to make some connection and to learn about others. Mostly I was scared and do not like being lead by fear. As we started service it was clear that many of these women knew more about life and even the bible than I ever would. We sang songs, shared stores and talked about God's love together. Our chaplain reminded us that all of us have some type of prison. The only difference is that their crimes have been judged and they are physically constrained. Many of us on the outside do not have this luxury and I mean luxury. They have to continue their lives in guilt, addiction and fear. Dealing with their imprisoned state with no walls. Prisoners have time to think and prepare and work and worship and repent. Many of us go about our lives and never try to do these things. We are too busy with our lives to even try. Too busy to think that are time is short and that we only have a brief moment to make a difference. To touch others, to pray and repent or even to make amends to those we've hurt. This prison outside is just as real. Visiting prison made me strangely aware of how imprisoned I am here on the outside.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-82695116437702927932009-09-12T18:17:00.000-07:002009-09-12T18:30:18.069-07:00188<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4cfByw5vi4spP4xfpS-9SJ67MOhFXX5v6auXuhU5Cvk81Szc-CF-s_mS-YKGRkomqbzJ0QvWd6AcxwM0TNEM_j2zzds3Hlza5_krCWP5g3Hc7hEsUeMMAgGeg2Dd-K_PPcN6m1tPQ9QO/s1600-h/192809.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380758047725819426" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4cfByw5vi4spP4xfpS-9SJ67MOhFXX5v6auXuhU5Cvk81Szc-CF-s_mS-YKGRkomqbzJ0QvWd6AcxwM0TNEM_j2zzds3Hlza5_krCWP5g3Hc7hEsUeMMAgGeg2Dd-K_PPcN6m1tPQ9QO/s200/192809.jpg" /></a> Its just a number I know but 188 to me is 28.8 pounds given away. Given away to a disease of compulsion to eat and eat and eat. Its years of thinking that extra cake was going to make me happy. That bliss came in nachos. That no one would love the real me. I have had a beautiful last few years. I have gone up and down and over and under as you know but today I have made a turning point. Over the last few weeks really. I have pushed my body to the limits, lifted heavy weights, hiked up a mountain and did the elliptical. <div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgSQDOeQjKa7UT-SJpcwzLQq3aUTd7Chyur6hU6VN9xob4DfEVtXwpI5Rb637GIAJ75-QpaaYPmd8f2FPh01Jy6anhldwP-V6Qp_mGioqhB9JLgS5tdj7TSb3-UFnNd8qNjdZWqrPH_ts/s1600-h/PIC_0099.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 241px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380756940463345666" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgSQDOeQjKa7UT-SJpcwzLQq3aUTd7Chyur6hU6VN9xob4DfEVtXwpI5Rb637GIAJ75-QpaaYPmd8f2FPh01Jy6anhldwP-V6Qp_mGioqhB9JLgS5tdj7TSb3-UFnNd8qNjdZWqrPH_ts/s200/PIC_0099.JPG" /></a><br /><div></div><div>Throughout the next few months my journey continues. One realistic expectation is that I keep writing about my feelings and thoughts, keep being natural with myself and keep doing good for others. I feel this is why I'm here. Really not to go through a battle with weight but to be a soldier in the army of right. Not holier than thou right but right enough to see something right in front of me and try to make a difference.</div><div></div><br /><div>I'm starting with leaving the focus of "me" and turning it to community. I am starting by volunteering at a homeless shelter for youth simply by being there and listening to teenagers from time to time. The agency is called Urban Peak <a href="http://www.urbanpeak.org/">http://www.urbanpeak.org/</a>. I'm excited about this new journey and I hope I do my higher power justice!</div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDhr7N4k31LNKzo8t421WvwjR7KHjVl2UBlqtuR7d81k8JPKRDca2wkcBz9-oa57uGx9ugbjtOIBWE5dRGgAtYnMLWpNY62MwVJsJij1iKVcaYrpowpXwYxwXz4sy-pCrUV0PvkdZsSTRl/s1600-h/meandshelley.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380756399769988642" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDhr7N4k31LNKzo8t421WvwjR7KHjVl2UBlqtuR7d81k8JPKRDca2wkcBz9-oa57uGx9ugbjtOIBWE5dRGgAtYnMLWpNY62MwVJsJij1iKVcaYrpowpXwYxwXz4sy-pCrUV0PvkdZsSTRl/s200/meandshelley.jpg" /></a>As I continue to grow & give away I am also amazed at my hair. Its interesting that just like my weight, the less I focus on it and just let it be and shine on its own the better it does.<br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-30055610549782066142009-06-08T20:53:00.000-07:002009-06-08T20:55:20.763-07:0010% Weight LossThis is insane! 10% down. 10% of my body weight has been given away - not lost - I don't want it back at all. I got to meet with my doctor and we figured out my goal weight which will be under 30 BMI. Very healthy and exciting for me, I want to be a WW leader by my next birthday. <br /><br />Life is looking up :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-23820198214616265222009-05-30T12:06:00.000-07:002009-05-30T12:12:19.552-07:00Another loss Another gainHere I am again. Wow I'm at 196. 196! I'm in a size 16 (I haven't been there since well I don't remember). I started going to counseling to see why I keep fighting this weight. I'm feeling so much healthier on this new life. I think I've turned a corner. I no longer want to go back. I feel challenged and happier and healthier yes - however I feel like I'm mourning the old me. I don't want to see her again. I'm breaking up with her and not returning. <br /><br />I've been with her for so long, she's served me well. She's been my protection and now we're saying goodbye to each other. Now I'm seeing the new me. The new me is exciting. She likes to work out, she likes healthier snacks, she eats out now and then but chooses on the better side of the menu. She's learning to garden, she's learning to swim. She's enthusiastic, she likes long walks, she likes bringing her food with her and asking how meals are prepared. She's fun to be around, she's vulnerable, charming, attentive and a good friend. I'm glad I met my new friend. I hope we have a great long relationship! :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-22335786015915685152009-05-01T05:26:00.000-07:002009-05-01T05:27:49.934-07:00Under 200That's such a weird thing! Under 200 I haven't been here since maybe 5 years ago. Its wonderful, its weird, its lovely, its scary. Its a sign to keep going....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-25761216454055458102009-04-23T18:12:00.000-07:002009-04-23T18:15:14.838-07:00Bicyclez<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMaokOOfuGqV7rlCOBBG1wTmgsYUQzwzN4oHntqrqzOz2ipXiQcpcFANeYq3c6pyZNarVmXtcz-F7-68cLNidSvvLuX1-HN6jSpFmoHXLQXYFeW_i24b_CfUvri_kaOSY8WwkStaZTPZlY/s1600-h/Steph+taking+a+ride.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328060218814577186" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 210px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMaokOOfuGqV7rlCOBBG1wTmgsYUQzwzN4oHntqrqzOz2ipXiQcpcFANeYq3c6pyZNarVmXtcz-F7-68cLNidSvvLuX1-HN6jSpFmoHXLQXYFeW_i24b_CfUvri_kaOSY8WwkStaZTPZlY/s200/Steph+taking+a+ride.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQl5EXgV7DjshOo0un6rUO33QLNGMhR39b8MruyiDaZTa_KJoRRUfxVQdncxCIxnOboRTZb-LK2-Njn1t0rApA-qkXzAXpDfeUuOc64V2hq4rsGd2f9UpAAEW1In3CyIKNDdMK9WQJulYA/s1600-h/Me+taking+a+ride.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328059975365753138" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 172px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 197px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQl5EXgV7DjshOo0un6rUO33QLNGMhR39b8MruyiDaZTa_KJoRRUfxVQdncxCIxnOboRTZb-LK2-Njn1t0rApA-qkXzAXpDfeUuOc64V2hq4rsGd2f9UpAAEW1In3CyIKNDdMK9WQJulYA/s200/Me+taking+a+ride.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>BTW we both got cool bikes, here we are</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div></div><br /><p></p><br /><p></p><br /><p></p><br /><p></p><br /><p></p><br /><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-32655706038826897072009-04-23T17:54:00.000-07:002009-04-23T18:12:06.225-07:00Losing Losing 1 2 3<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm4BbsgOU0NXq_RUUZR3PJz9X7Jcllpzhskhs63x3ri-2ycTZpsTVqZMbxgUDT3WQakLvOIZBrChBKW4SWu9InFn2M8xipLyv4QsBm3IHLRYT7BIxrcpwJLjj4BRyljjIzxRQgsKSlm7Id/s1600-h/097.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328056642803364834" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm4BbsgOU0NXq_RUUZR3PJz9X7Jcllpzhskhs63x3ri-2ycTZpsTVqZMbxgUDT3WQakLvOIZBrChBKW4SWu9InFn2M8xipLyv4QsBm3IHLRYT7BIxrcpwJLjj4BRyljjIzxRQgsKSlm7Id/s200/097.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>Favorite quote from the meeting today "If you kinda work the plan it kinda works, if you really work the plan it really works!". Veryy cool. I feel encouraged. You may ask what am I doing? Well I'm on weight watchers (have been since January 1, 2009). I eat 25 points per day (whole grains, lean meats, dairy, five veggies & 2 fruit). I also exercise I call it - EDD - every dang day. No, I don't go to the gym everyday but I do ride my bike, do Chalene Extreme DVD at home (strength training), walk at least 1.5 miles, do Chalene DVD Turbo Jam and some of the time Dancing off the Pounds Ball room. I really mix it up. If I don't do a DVD then I'm walking at lunch, if I don't walk at lunch I come home and do 30 min of strength training, etc. Its hard yes. There are times I wanna sit on my booty and just eat and eat and eat. But I've been down that road and I know what it is. </div><br /><div>I am so close to under 200 now, I can see and feel it. this is the picture that got me started, its also my picture that I will keep going to, here's the picture of me in the same shirt 17 lbs later. If I keep this up Steph says I'll be at 180 by the wedding. That will be good but I want it to be great. I wanna be Biggest Loser great ya know? 150 or 160? Slow and stead win the race right? </div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTOBwsFBmVcAqvz-XwcLLTFjtkuFi0vzImUnCXyDDvn5jC94MyafNE5thumNxdS2y87h4INmpyz5y1fpxTy3bEm2FqU2WDCKwWiY6GTXa6WM-w8okQBiU47TOAKSOFeJlCfA3zYdGCEiQ0/s1600-h/DSC04157.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328058342237360418" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTOBwsFBmVcAqvz-XwcLLTFjtkuFi0vzImUnCXyDDvn5jC94MyafNE5thumNxdS2y87h4INmpyz5y1fpxTy3bEm2FqU2WDCKwWiY6GTXa6WM-w8okQBiU47TOAKSOFeJlCfA3zYdGCEiQ0/s200/DSC04157.JPG" border="0" /></a></div><div> </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-83612733048173683802009-03-28T15:06:00.000-07:002009-04-23T18:12:06.226-07:00Not much to say today<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYJoruFbRG3HM6jrNO-ii-JLy0NyFIPrKwAtwEfjtiVKRh4OAMr3fZTTy8wDhNFIElEOJQxbT1lAZbMfWMBMh3chJ6RdB94HtiQuXngWqGtAhPavpxOQP54kBTIHdrN9BlCK2UE6X_cFoZ/s1600-h/181203-2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318374102172297858" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 160px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYJoruFbRG3HM6jrNO-ii-JLy0NyFIPrKwAtwEfjtiVKRh4OAMr3fZTTy8wDhNFIElEOJQxbT1lAZbMfWMBMh3chJ6RdB94HtiQuXngWqGtAhPavpxOQP54kBTIHdrN9BlCK2UE6X_cFoZ/s200/181203-2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Lots to think about though. I'm officially down 14 lbs! That's incredible to me, but more importantly its a scary time. Usually when I get this close to under 200 I really do sabotage. I talked to my WW leader and am trying to reframe and story board - basically plan what I'm going to do in situations that get to me. Some of the time I don't want to work out, some of the time I want to eat and eat and eat when I'm stressed - which is a lot more than I care to mention - at work. The politics, back stabbing, etc. It gets to me, I then have to think, I die from to much stress or because I ate myself to death these same people would be first in line to say something ugly at my funeral!<br /><br />So I strive to give the best of myself, I try to be better, I work out harder, trying to lift more weights, train harder, eat less, splurge less (but still be satisfied). My new life is a scary road but I'm willing to keep training</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>By the way here's my new bike I'm getting for B-Day</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-85559795539394033042009-03-21T13:10:00.001-07:002009-04-23T18:12:29.797-07:00Changing Careers<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguluDPIaiKTRFUT8O-RNUehoWt1Gvg0hp5CpKd9RjInzfF8bNGLDdElbwmVsVCX4nywzI__aWuyKKKVT2ZxFqnWJjFMhyphenhyphensPaBdWNG_CHU4q5vaxyP7p_88oJ_I9oPBDwTDIF8p23GtETPC/s1600-h/140959.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315736550207288818" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguluDPIaiKTRFUT8O-RNUehoWt1Gvg0hp5CpKd9RjInzfF8bNGLDdElbwmVsVCX4nywzI__aWuyKKKVT2ZxFqnWJjFMhyphenhyphensPaBdWNG_CHU4q5vaxyP7p_88oJ_I9oPBDwTDIF8p23GtETPC/s200/140959.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>So most of the time I do blogging on my hair and today I'm getting it retightened. </div><br /><p>While I'm getting it retightened we have lots of time to talk and reflect. We've had a hard couple weeks. A friend of hers, Eric Jerome Hill (53) died suddenly of a heart attack. It's been surreal, I find myself thinking about death and not waking up one morning more and more. What's that about? I don't know but I think that we all get shown things in life to help us make good decisions. Part of my good decisions includes making sure I'm eating healthier and working out daily. As I get stronger and lose more weight (I'm down 11 lbs) I think about my own mortality and what I want my legacy to be.</p><p>I enjoy my job I feel I do a great job, however, I know my calling is to teach and inspire. This makes me think of a change in careers. How can I blend technology and my love for inspiring others into a good career? I too may not wake up one day and in that day I want to know I did as much of what the universe either God or the Goddess wants me to fulfill so that I can meet them and have them proud of what I did. Whether you agree with my faith or not, I feel that you are shown things in the order you are to receive them. For example, Eric's death was meant to touch me but I feel its for a bigger reason other than to make me saddened. It was to show me that time is short and that I have to get started and working harder and harder because if my time is like his, I only have 15 years to live, to love, to complete my journey to perfect myself. Its not a long time, but even 30 years is a short time to perfect onself.</p><p>I am reenrolling in school to get my counseling certificate (yes another master's) but with this I can continue slowly doing what I feel God wants me to do. Yes, this blog is deeper than about my hair but my life is not my hair, my life isn't even mine I feel. Its about giving my life to others and hopefully giving them joy and happiness :) Peace and love to everyone that reads my blog because your blogs feed my soul as well!</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-49808689423978705572009-03-07T19:49:00.000-08:002009-03-07T19:53:39.224-08:00Soul MenCheck out my new facebook group for locked sisters and brothers.<br /><br />I'm getting my hair retightened now by my sister - which is incredible because her birthday is next week - come check it out<br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=8741&post=34838&uid=67511646083#/group.php?gid=67511646083">http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=8741&post=34838&uid=67511646083#/group.php?gid=67511646083</a><br /><br />I'll try and have good items for you to discuss :) Peace and locked soulUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-56401130383696340372008-12-22T10:41:00.001-08:002009-04-23T18:12:29.798-07:00Graduation Celebration<div>I graduated with my Master's last week so exciting. I wanted to show you my hair style. For this event, I wore my hair up. Twisted in the back, I wore lots of hair pins to keep it up and soft spiked it the night before. Right before I left for the commencement I moussed it and pulled it away from <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPiSFGK_O-XR9Hpimp__A82JPuWbHYiJX6CoS1qRDvlGEJwVJJ7rxswyyUG-6bVDAKshzRXFShz3zSKAlnNCiyWbL_RH8aCBc-JuSJXI_cr5fsWXR1w1cnPegSZ3gxWPUgGQV4sB4h_dl/s1600-h/015.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5282687000446719282" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPiSFGK_O-XR9Hpimp__A82JPuWbHYiJX6CoS1qRDvlGEJwVJJ7rxswyyUG-6bVDAKshzRXFShz3zSKAlnNCiyWbL_RH8aCBc-JuSJXI_cr5fsWXR1w1cnPegSZ3gxWPUgGQV4sB4h_dl/s200/015.JPG" border="0" /></a>my face on the side and twisted it in a french roll in the back.</div><br /><p></p><br /><p>I am quite the perfectionist and it took me a second to get the cap on just right so that my bangs would show through. It didn't show the length as much as I wanted to but I was happy with the overall affect when it was all said and done. Its impressive to me that it stood the test of time and withheld all day and night partying. It started to snow the night of the event and it kept up with all of it without a hitch!.<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5282687307080913906" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4p-LpIAb2Sl5FE3HHX6pUTGEkvoDIlgQ7vSe9MiyRVyssszHf-7EOM3i24SkOjgkH7KV8DOL3gEFrGEcP-Bg4CcTGQsAgH-MlviAQO9A5QKcTCKoQPwGJsPtm63A3jVA7Nf2X0-m9ut9E/s200/022.JPG" border="0" /></p><p>I loved my blouse that I wore a red halter shirt with the back out it was so cute but I mostly wore a black jacket over it because I'm pretty modest and could only ho' out for a second :)</p><p> </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-73401721160882833682008-10-30T22:13:00.001-07:002008-10-30T22:18:53.943-07:00Happy Halloween<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE_najPxDpfbxmSSrfH3ujUyF35Z_Spe3YTjaVaApKQL1RWMFCZzaalZDiRiYVjQpASIOURfnEUAhxp4v4-5bASdwWRNk_slKn38vwiBxuywvsBvP-44D0Xj9EbhxukZLX2TVqtyiHOhRE/s1600-h/pictures+005.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263183029320971186" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE_najPxDpfbxmSSrfH3ujUyF35Z_Spe3YTjaVaApKQL1RWMFCZzaalZDiRiYVjQpASIOURfnEUAhxp4v4-5bASdwWRNk_slKn38vwiBxuywvsBvP-44D0Xj9EbhxukZLX2TVqtyiHOhRE/s200/pictures+005.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div>Here's another ghoulish picture of me! This is me getting a retightening. Ha ha well actually its not bad, I've been using my curlers for my locks (I use soft spikes) and while I look crazy with them in it totally worth the end result. </div><div> </div><div> </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>This is one of my favorite pictures of me in locks with my funny looking wife beater on I look ghetto but fabulous. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghg0b9Os95HrS_un2E9FLOGZ1gLlN-Ig6Kt_Nzp2S5SIKKO718MjeAWsk6IwoMEoyW_136twSeVr8d6us17f3erDhU34-kC25lssCScJt_aDv-_zGseVFjhD1XHiPEYkQ7uhto1k00L9MR/s1600-h/pictures+003.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263182666487777938" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghg0b9Os95HrS_un2E9FLOGZ1gLlN-Ig6Kt_Nzp2S5SIKKO718MjeAWsk6IwoMEoyW_136twSeVr8d6us17f3erDhU34-kC25lssCScJt_aDv-_zGseVFjhD1XHiPEYkQ7uhto1k00L9MR/s200/pictures+003.JPG" border="0" /></a>Hope all of you have a great Halloween!</div><br /><div></div><div>Btw I graduate December 13 from school. I am so psyched! This is such an accomplishment and I wish my mom were here to celebrate with me. But, I know she is in heaven looking down on me and smiling :)</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div></div><br /><p>My sister has to section them out and then start the tightening process, winding my hair around the tool and getting the new growth back in the pattern it needs to be in to continue.</p><br /><p></p><br /><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-33563854789889409342008-09-22T20:01:00.001-07:002008-09-22T20:25:18.736-07:00Happy Anniversary<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDbFikXNf23W003TmRPSDUlBYI2A9QT-XZhkkaatqDYyDcx5VcSW-fywm0ghvqkZD53zwMZqe_-19l0vFql7AbrYinmblmDIZUVAWlddxxzvGfZJlYiyBYwdnwxady_BZiAp-qZ8xae-mU/s1600-h/210527.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249048140674878130" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDbFikXNf23W003TmRPSDUlBYI2A9QT-XZhkkaatqDYyDcx5VcSW-fywm0ghvqkZD53zwMZqe_-19l0vFql7AbrYinmblmDIZUVAWlddxxzvGfZJlYiyBYwdnwxady_BZiAp-qZ8xae-mU/s200/210527.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><br /><div>My hair is one year old today, if you scroll around on my site you'll see my changes in my hair. I decided to go to locks one year ago. I saw someone on the 16th street mall today and she let me know she liked my hair but never could do it because she so afraid. She wanted to know if I did it myself (no never always go to a certified loctician) did I do alot with it (well I separate them after every washing - which is one to twice a week - I'm a fanatic) and what do I do to make them curly (i curl them with soft spikes small size but I'm going to have to get bigger ones in about six months).</div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP6PEk9sDZMaumRcURrWurAiRArw69BKQGQkQQuzXNqPQUwMwf283sjY-BzJJoH7f8YO0z5ULDjbw6y8vLf5Teev7SdhYpSksld3Y2byjfSorIP2oAHu2yBJ3MJXiFfj9vab9Kk0BxGdb1/s1600-h/WithoutLocs.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249051062545408514" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP6PEk9sDZMaumRcURrWurAiRArw69BKQGQkQQuzXNqPQUwMwf283sjY-BzJJoH7f8YO0z5ULDjbw6y8vLf5Teev7SdhYpSksld3Y2byjfSorIP2oAHu2yBJ3MJXiFfj9vab9Kk0BxGdb1/s200/WithoutLocs.jpg" border="0" /></a>This is the picture of my lock appointment. I was undergoing a surgery and wanting so many changes in my life and boy did I get them. I went from very short damaged, weaved, braided, bad (I know I'm not supposed to say it but bad hair) to my coily, lovely curly funny locks. Steph had just finished getting her tonsils out, my sister was going into surgery too, my daughter was going through fun at school and my job was turning into a mess of turmoil. But I thought I had friends at work that I could always count on.</div>As my hair grew so did the realization that my life was changing for the better. I found that my friends are actually chosen by me and given to be my a higher power. I found out I really didn't need to be a leader to lead, and I found out that love is wonderful when accepted and embraced.<br /><div></div><br /><div>When I first got my sisterlocks I wanted to cry because I thought it looked like little snakes all around sharp and twisted (because of the old perm) and so small and not filled in and so many parts and I wanted to wear a bandana. So different from me using my soft spikes and letting them set (I have tried using very little heat curlers on them and that is not good) and going right to work. Some days I just spritz it with water and rosemary essential oils (i have two bottles one at home one at work). I love keeping my hair moist from time to time. Not drenched like jeri curls but wetting and go to keep the pointers behaving. </div><br /><div></div><div>Its getting odd I have locks in my eyes when the wind blows them and it scares me when I'm driving. I get them caught in my earrings because their falling just below my ears now. I feel a little bit on my neck which is ever so lovely and I like braiding them and letting them loose to be wild. I love it when people touch them. I can't wait to tell people about them when they ask. But my question is always this, women come up to me and say I want my hair to look like that but I'm just afraid. Afraid of what I wonder? The committment, the freedom from pressing comes and smelling like grease and oils and waxes? I haven't had anything but soap and water in my hair for over a year and ya know what? It hasn't fallen out. Do I some times want longer hair - yup but I know that my hair grows six inches per year and next year it will be around 10 - 12 inches long - yep 10 -12 inches long that's crazy for me. How do I know this because if you leave your hair alone it grows it can't help it. I also know because when I started I had 1 1/2 inches of coiled hair plus 2 - 3 inches of permed hair and not its almost 4.5 and that's with locking and using the tool and cutting out all of the permed hair. Hmm I wish I would've made the decision sooner. It hasn't cost me a job or a promotion or love in my life (if any hair style did I wouldn't want it). My sister and nephew both have theirs done too which only makes me happier. Yeah anniversary :)</div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-45764956796127832692008-08-27T19:03:00.000-07:002009-04-23T18:12:29.798-07:00Measurements and measurementsSo its me again. I've been trying to lose weight, figure out my life and where I fit in, and grow my Sisterlocks! Well I'm doing pretty well at the latter because I have no control. I see so many beautiful locks around. Very long and well kept and at the beginning of my hair journey I had neither. It was short, parted all over the place, choppy weird length, and my face is so full it just made me look like a egg colored with pieces of black yarn. <br /><br />Now I'm finding focus and losing control. I have to lose control of where my hair and destiny is going and give over that God will give me the destination of his choosing and I have to let go. That's what I am seriously planning on doing. Its almost my locknniversary in September and I am so happy and can't wait to see what it looks like next year. Here's my lengths so far,<br /><br />Nape of neck 2.75<br />Left Ear 3.75<br />Right Ear 3.75 <br />Widows Peak 3.5<br /><br />What this means to me is now that I have let go of growing my hair I get to do the same with my career. I love to sing and I love to cook so I have had a vision of two different ways that I should be going. One is the make extra money selling baked goods at the office – I love muffin tops and I want them to be my specialty.<br /><br />Also, I feel drawn to starting a choir for my choice – ridiculous considering I only have singing talent (and haven’t done so in years) and have no pianist, no drums, and best of all no restrictions. I want people who join my choir to represent all the diversity that God brings. I feel we can do contemporary, gospel, and classical and even rock but claim it and sing it to inspire, teach and draw people to Him. I am so nervous about this new endeavor and I hope that I do Him justice!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6540809435035533537.post-48932469266826022342008-07-16T20:56:00.000-07:002009-04-23T18:12:29.798-07:00Losing Weight<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY2CtGkp1Dr-LL1Fw6njsfMZOY31o9N4buJ9Qcg2_nMw1Hg8A8TZVD_py1QSTq6nzf_tNBLXeYmLX0YmAVvj91DQxpLpWNzvbGgFXoIKD3kPbHurKJuyWKCQFj34twHVxliBwMbCRfq2xy/s1600-h/215737.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223827586715313906" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY2CtGkp1Dr-LL1Fw6njsfMZOY31o9N4buJ9Qcg2_nMw1Hg8A8TZVD_py1QSTq6nzf_tNBLXeYmLX0YmAVvj91DQxpLpWNzvbGgFXoIKD3kPbHurKJuyWKCQFj34twHVxliBwMbCRfq2xy/s200/215737.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>So I have cool new hair and am trying different things with it. I </div><br /><p>started to braid it and let it go. I'm starting to exercise and watching my foods etc. I started to do the fat smash and after detox I feel like I crashed and burned. I was doing really good but after a few days of eating at restaurants I could feel myself getting larger so Steph and I have started working out at 24 hr fitness.</p><p>My day begins with multi vitamins, fish oil, and apex fat burn 1 with a yogurt, a grande americano with no sugar and no fat milk and i'm on my way. My lunch is usually a salad with protein and an egg with fat free salad dressing and dinner I try and have out like tokyo joe's chicken, veggie and brown rice bowl with curry or even a burger and fries. I'm working out 3 times a week so far (strength, cardio, kickboxing) that's it. I'll keep you updated!</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2